Monday, March 28, 2011

Dear World, I Am Alive... Dear Vegas, I Miss You

As I stated in my list of 5 interesting facts about being a blogger when you leave readers for days, they tend to get worried. Or the start "un-liking" you on Facebook. Ouch.

So I would like you all to know I survived Vegas.

My diet/waist did not.
Unless half-yard daiquiris are a part of my diet, which, in that case, I did fabulously.
Ugh. I have no will power. 

Okay so now that I've informed you I am alive and slightly worse for the wear, I want to share one story. I know I know What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. But this story is just too good to keep to myself. 

The Squirt Incident

We were walking around one afternoon, checking out the sites after being at our bottomless mimosa buffet for 4 HOURS when we stopped in The Venetian to take a look at the strip from their balcony. Once up there we decided it was the perfect setting for a picture. My friend, who had just picked up a Squirt at the Walgreens placed it on the railing before settling in for the photo. I nearly bumped it and told him "I will knock that bottle over, be careful." But of course no one paid it any mind and it stayed right there. We found a person to take the photo and I took my place. I reached around to put my arm around my friends shoulder when, OF COURSE, I smacked the bottle off the balcony! My friend reached for it but it was too late. The mostly full bottle plummeted to ground. Unsuspecting people were SHOWERED in Squirt soda when the bottle burst open! Squeals were heard but I didn't look. As soon as that bottle slipped off the ledge I took off! I couldn't face it. They managed to wrangle me back in for a quick picture before we all ran away. Later that night while at a club I had not one, not two, but THREE drinks dropped right at my feet! My legs were covered in sticky, miscellaneous alcoholic beverages. Well that's what I get! I knew it was karmic retribution for what is now aptly dubbed "The Squirt Incident."

Oh Vegas, you never disappoint.

Okay, now, lets hear your story!
Tell me your funniest Vegas story in the comment section below (PG please).  
The funniest story will win a special Vegas themed PRIZE!!


  1. My husband and I went to Vegas about 4 months after our daughter was born. Since I was still nursing at the time, I had to bring my pump along wherever we went. We went to a club one night with friends and toward the end of the night I was feeling quite full (tmi?). I went to the car to take care of business. The batteries on the pump died halfways through. Being the smarty that I am, I left the extras in the hotel room. I had to go the rest of the night looking quite lopsided. Trust me, this is not a good look.

  2. HA! I love the Squirt story and Deanna's story. Absolutely hilarious. I, sadly, can't think of any Vegas stories that are anything different than the normal "Kimberly's $69 special" guys handing me cards on every corner {Do I LOOK like I want a hooker? 'Cause I don't!!} but IF any great stories do happen this weekend when I'm there, I will be sure to share. Glad you're back, Amy!

  3. Why would anyone un-like you of all people on facebook? That is just not nice. I have a story from vegas, but it is too long. Long story short, I was taking the red eye flight back to Chicago with 4 young of drinking age girls. We got on the plane and waited 2 hours, and we were told to get off the plane so electrical issues could be taken care of. 2 hours later we re-entered the same plane and headed for the runway, and there we sat for another 2 hours. We were brought back to the terminal and deplaned once again and then reloaded on a different plane. We were suppose to land at Chicago around 4am, but actually arrived around 8:30am. I had the day off, but those other 4 kids had to be at work by 9am. One of the girls got sick in the plane after we took off, and I nursed her all the way to Chicago. Flight attendants are useless.

  4. I love the yard-long margaritas! so delicious :)
    I am so glad that you had an amazing time in Vegas! it really is an incredibly fun place to be :D
    Oh dear, either my stories have very fuzzy details, or aren't PG! oh vegas :)
    Vegas is always an amazing time though! Just walking the strip makes for a very entertaining night!

  5. In November of 1992 my hubby John and I went to Vegas for our honeymoon - - we had been married June of 92. We stayed at the ExCalibur and on day 2 of our visit to Las Vegas, and a few drinks more than I should have had, thanks to the waitresses who kept the endless supply coming, we decided to go for walk along the strip. On this little jaunt, there were a number of magazine "stands" that held questionable material at best; grabbing a couple of the magazines, I began reading them out loud - entertaining everyone within walking distance, note, I was normally quite shy, so this was totally out of character for me. On this walk, I noticed Elvis - a tall life size Elvis in a white suit, and wanted my picture taken with him . . I walked right up to Elvis, grabbed his crotch and had the biggest smile on my face as my hubby began taking my picture. He started laughing telling me that I had better get off the lawn and read the sign. . . I was standing right directly in front of a police station, with their life size Elvis and a sign that stated to stay off the lawn and not to touch Elvis, with a camera watching us! Upon our return home to Alaska my hubby took the film into the photo developing shop and asked me to stop and pick it up on my way home from work which I did. When I walked through the door everyone was laughing and pointing, couldn't figure out what the heck was going on, until I got home and opened the envelope of pictures only to find my Obscene crotch holding pictures of myself and Elvis . . . memories never to be forgotten. We still have the picture on our curio cabinet 18 1/2 years later . . and loads of great memories!

  6. These are all great, funny stories! I haven't been to Vegas, yet! Soon, my husband promises, soon. Glad to know you're alive, sad to hear that people are that fickle.

    I call this story, "The Vegas Trip That Paid For Itself....Twice!"

    So my friend Marcos and Chris and I decided to go to Vegas as an end of the summer trip. We arrived at midnight, checked in, threw our bags in the room and immediately set out to get drunk, lose our money, and our dignity. After a long night of debauchery we made our way back to our room around 6AM. We slept for which felt like 3 hours and woke up to Chris horrified and disgusted. That morning Chris went to use the restroom and felt something fall off his body and onto his foot. To his surprise and our surprise it was a.......BEDBUG!!! Eww gross, I was so hung over I kept shouting, "Just spray Windex on it!" I didnt give a shit, I was still wasted and it didn't bother me as much, hell it wasnt on me and I didnt see any bedbugs on my bed! So I continued to sleep as Chris bitched and complained about this situation. A hour of two later, I'm still in bed, Marcos is already making cocktails at our make shift bar, and Chris turned our room into a mini CSI crimescene! He called the front desk and moments later a crew of hotel employees and Risk Management were at our door. They escorted us to a vacant room as they inspected our room. As it turned out our room was positive for bedbugs and when we returned to our room, the whole place was turned upside down! It looked as if a rowdy rock band performed a concert there then trashed the place right after! They did not let us keep our luggage, but we were told we can keep whatever was inside. During this time our door was completely open and people passing in the hall way saw the whole damn thing. The grasps and "Ohmygod's" as people passed by were hilarious! It was kind of cool people were thinking we trashed this place and now we were being kicked out! By this time it was already 4PM and we lost almost a full day! They escorted us back to the vacant room and questioned all of us for nearly a hour! I was so upset and the people at risk management knew I was ready to blow a fuse! All I had to say was, "wait till people hear about this!" Those 6 golden words! We were immediately upgraded to a deluxe suite with a full view of the pool! They comped all our meals and drinks at the hotel! On a dotted line they requested for us to put the dollar amount of our luggage, and immediately cut each of us a check! I put $400 on that line, even though my luggage was only $200, the rest for was for pain and suffering and a lost day at the pool! LOL! And to top it off they gave each of us a free 3 night stay to come back at any time we wished as well as meals comped for each day! After risk management left I popped open our bottle of Champagne and threw some fake dollars in the air! BTW I like decorating my room with fake money whenever I go to Vegas, theres nothing like walking around your hotel room with "dollar bills" all over the place! After making it rain over and over again, we went to the mall and bought some "fancy" luggage!I felt like a celebrity walking around as I sipped on my Orange Julius! They also gave us gas money to get to and from the mall! You couldn't erase the stupid grins on our face for hours afterward, we were all on cloud 9 and living in the moment! VIVA LA BEDBUG! =D A few months later I called to redeem my free room to use on New Year's Eve! I was denied, but after I mentioned our bed bug incident and used those 6 golden words again ("WAIT TILL PEOPLE HEAR ABOUT THIS!"), I was granted my request! The moral of this story is don't complain or get grossed out if you have bedbugs in your bed at 3-5 Star hotel, rejoice and reap the benefits, because you too can live the lifestyle of the Rich & Famous! THE END!

    TOP THAT!!!!! =D I hope I win! =D


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